~page 191~

Being a parent can be really hard sometimes.

We teach and guide and pray that when our children are away from the home that they make good choices.

But we never know what choices they'll be confronted with or what they'll be exposed to once they step out that front door.

That is what scares me most.



Our oldest came home from school one day last week and started telling me about a book that a female classmate was reading.

This book was on the shelf in their classroom, available for anyone to read.  As much as we encourage literacy in our own home, there are some books that are just meant for adult eyes only.

You would never find such a book offered in a school book order or even in the Young Adult section of the library.

I own a copy of the book.  (This particular author is great, but geared toward an adult audience.) 

I ran and got the book and turned to "page 191" and read the four very *descriptive* pages, just like he had at school. 

It was the longest four pages I've ever read in my life.

His wheels were turning. 

Then the questions started.

And kept pouring in...

and going on...

and on.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind him asking.

I WANT him to come to us with questions.

I WANT to be the one to tell him the answers.

The correct answers.

Not the "school bus version". 

What gets me was that we even had to have the conversation in the first place.

I was ready to talk, but wasn't ready for him to hear what I had to say.  We've talked before about the same things, but not to this extent.



The conversation went as well as it could have.

I stressed some important things and kept some items for a later discussion or for him to discover on his own.



Sometimes I wish I could keep them young and innocent forever.

To be able to hold their hands and give them security.

But then I remind myself that we are giving them the proper tools to make their own decisions in life.

We have to slowly let go more and more each day, trust them, and watch them grow before our eyes.

It's awesome and scary at the time.

More than anything, I'm glad we've taught them to feel comfortable enough to come to us with any questions.

 That door will always be open.